It has been a big question mark for society to choose between what’s better, being a stay-at-home mom or being a working mom. Both roles share the same role as in being a mother. Both roles have their own stereotype in the minds of society. Being a Stay Home Mom are presumably only thought about the house and children and does not know how to find money on their own and fully dependent on their partners. On the other side, working mom are stereotyped as those who prioritize money and materials over caregiving and motherhood (Dillaway, H., & Paré, E.,2008).
Being a woman, itself is never an easy job, we will always have faults in front of society, whether we are single, married, doesn’t have kids, have kids. At some point in the life, we will be criticized, which opinions are very normal to be expressed, though sometimes boundaries on commenting and criticizing other women should be considered. Behind every decision that mothers have made for them and their children’s lives must be through brainstorms and considerations. Some of working mothers, deep in their hearts, does not want to work, some of the stay home mothers, deep in their hearts, they want to continue of pursuing their dream career. Every mother is facing their own battles. Society will never ask about the reasons behind it, nor it’s their responsibility to find out why.
Concerns from the society to mothers about their decisions are always centered by whether the decision mothers make, would have an impact. Such concerns are whether the decision will positively or negatively affect their children emotionally and academically. Another common concern of the society for mothers is the stress level mothers must deal with in the daily life (McIntosh, K. L. 2006). These concerns come from experiences of mothers around the world and around the times, knowing mother’s mood can have a big impact on their motherhood performance to their kids. Though these concerns must have entered their mind when they made the decision and putting the concerns under their control. Problems and concerns that they are aware of. Even without the society mention it to them, they have thought about it. Nevertheless, they are the mother of their children.
Both choices have their own sacrifices to be made, both choices have joy and pain that comes along the way. The minimum of time they get to hold their kids, the stress and tired that they need to bare and hold it to their selves because they aren’t allowed to complain as mothers because it’s their “obligations”. Both are still mothers. Both loves their children. It was never society right to say anything about the decision that they have made for their own family. Especially those, whom is not in the same boat and shoes. Both roles need to be praised and to be appreciated. It’s never fair to compare which is better. As the old saying; Happy Mother Happy Kids.
(Vaathira Najla Fidiatri Prasetyo)
Reference:
Dillaway, H., & Paré, E. (2008). Locating Mothers. Journal of Family Issues. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X07310309
McIntosh, K. L. (2006). Working mother’s vs stay at home mothers: the impact on children (Doctoral dissertation, Marietta college).